Why does a person feel so worthless, and why should you?

There are countless reasons why a person might feel worthless or experience similar emotions. From clinical depression, lack of sleep to poor dietary choices, the hurt caused by fake friends or a narcissistic family, the list is endless.

Let’s explore the concept of worthlessness or low self-esteem. At its core, it’s a feeling — a deep emotional state that can often be conditioned into someone. This is often to serve as a form of punishment for failing to meet another person’s expectations. This phenomenon is particularly common when one grows up in a narcissistic environment or faces persistent bullying, as these toxic dynamics foster an enduring sense of inadequacy.

Cluster B-type environments often cultivate feelings of shame. Shame is a potent tool employed by dictators, politicians, and religious leaders to manipulate, control those they seek to dominate. It functions as a mechanism of social control, threatening individuals with the emotional burden of loss or fear — sometimes both — if they fail to meet expectations. This manipulation erodes confidence and fosters a pervasive fear of speaking out, leading to self-censorship to silence opinions or voices.

Such environments can contribute to the development of personality disorders, though this is not always the case. Conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Unstable Emotional Personality Disorder may arise, often accompanied by self-loathing, attachment issues, and abandonment fears, among other challenges.

Shame is everywhere — and everyone you know participates in the shame business to some extent: your parents, teachers, boss, friends, and even strangers. And it doesn’t stop there. Advertisements use shame to persuade you into buying products. Politicians wield it to win votes. Shame is a powerful form of social control, used to manipulate individuals, communities, and even entire populations. Do your kids own the latest Apple mobile? If not, I bet they are being bullied, and made to feel shame. Of course, they will see this as embarrassment, which is tantamount to shame.

The message is simple yet coercive: “Buy this, or don’t do that, or else you’ll disappoint us and face ridicule or worse rejection — whether by your community, workplace, school, congregation, your family or worse your nation.” The threat of shame isolates and silences people, ensuring conformity. Shame is power.

History is rife with examples of shame being weaponized. People have been exiled, ostracized, or even burned at the stake for not adhering to societal norms, opinions or expectations. As it persists, shaping behavior, suppressing the masses, and reinforcing various systems of power.

Shame seems to be a uniquely human construct tied to our complex social systems. In nature, social animals like lions or tigers do practice forms of exclusion or hierarchy, but these behaviors serve functional purposes like survival, territory, or mating — not emotional manipulation or existential questioning.

Unlike humans, animals don’t appear to grapple with abstract concepts like ego, pride, or jealousy in the way we do! Their behaviors are instinct-driven, rooted in immediate needs rather than long-term introspection or societal validation. Humans, with our higher cognitive abilities, have the unique capacity to create and respond to constructs like shame, attaching manipulative deep emotional and social significance.

Lions and other wild animals seem to stick to the essentials — survival, reproduction, the protecting of their young. Their lives revolve around practical matters, not the petty judgments or social constraints we humans obsess over. In their world, “success” is measured by ensuring the survival of their young, not by impressing neighbors with superficial status symbols, a bigger back garden or a flash new car.

It does make you wonder: are humans overcomplicating things with our intricate webs of shame and judgment? Maybe there’s something to be learned from the simplicity of nature. What are your thoughts — should we aim to strip life back to the basics or do our complexities serve a purpose?

WHERE IS THIS SHAME FEELING STORED ANYWAY.

Shame is deeply rooted in the frontal lobe — it’s intrinsically tied to how we perceive ourselves in relation to others. We often mistake it for a reflection on ourselves, wondering, “Is there something wrong with me?” But shame isn’t always about you — it’s more about how you stand in the eyes of others.
No one is perfect, and perfection shouldn’t be your goal in life.

Life doesn’t require you to always be “happy with your circumstances.” However, in my experience, feelings of misery often stem from comparing ourselves to others, or holding our lives against the blueprint of some idealized dream we once had. This comparison breeds a sense of inadequacy — a feeling of worthlessness.

It’s crucial to remember that worthlessness is, indeed, a feeling, not a fact. No external force — be it a person, a social standard, or a source — has the right to impose this emotion upon you. Your intrinsic worth remains intact, regardless of these comparisons, or at least should do.

THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS?

Consider having the perspective that our lives are meant to capture a deep sense of purpose spirituality — is this not both grounding or thought-provoking. Viewing our physical existence as a temporary journey for the growth of our spiritual essence opens up a profound way of navigating life.

The idea of shedding the ego, i.e. “Edging God Out” — offers a powerful reminder to focus on what truly matters: learning, experiencing, and evolving. Life becomes so much richer when seen as a path of discovery, rather than a race for material achievements.

On reflection what experiences have shaped your reasons for your current self-worth, good or bad? Feelings that derive from experience hold insight to something that is rooted in past trauma's, often something deeply personal. Something that perhaps lacks the efficacy, needed to help your perceptions in the present.

Once you understand that worthlessness is often a social projection — a manipulation tactic — you’ll realize that these feelings are neither natural nor God-given. You are, in fact, worthy of your own self-love. Within you lies your true self, free of pretense or external influence. At your very core, the authentic you reside, and nothing on this earth — or beyond — can take that away from you.

Yes, you are a person — a human being, a member of the collective known as humanity. But you are so much more than just a person. Your worth is not solely defined by what you have accomplished in this world. It is also rooted in who you are, the journey that brought you to this point, then discovering the path you are yet to follow. Your true-life purpose, your very essence of you being here now.

So, it’s time to embrace this truth. Begin the practice of meditation, open yourself to receiving true knowledge, cultivate the experience of true worthiness. Along the way, nurture the idea of compassion for others, feel forgiveness, self-love, instead of contempt and bitterness. These are the keys to reclaiming your inner power, giving you the opportunity to live with your truest self.

When we return home, we are not judged by our clothes, riches, bodies, class, race, or religion. We are not judged at all. It matters not if our lives have been marked by errors, mistakes, countless wrong decisions, or poor choices. What truly matters is that we have come from our Ancient Home, to which we will one day return. Our worthiness in the eyes of those who love us unconditionally remains unchanged, untouched by our imperfections.
This is why we are taught not to judge one another but to practice compassion, kindness, and forgiveness. For none of us are without flaws, yet all of us can be forgiven. This is the essence of unconditional love — a guiding principle to hold close as we navigate life.

Let it be known that to forgive those who have wronged you — or have acted wrongly — is to also forgive yourself. The great effort we should should all be undertaking is to repair our errors in this life. A journey of spiritual enlightenment, is what allows us to uncover then express our true selves in this world.

Think of the physical body as a kind of space suit, enabling you to interact with the world into which you have incarnated. It is designed to let the true you — the soul — breathe, live, and experience all that this planet has to offer. Back in our Ancient Home, we do not have bodies, voice boxes to speak, or any need to eat or reproduce. Verbal communication is unnecessary because thoughts are fully shared, and everyone is connected, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

In our Ancient Home, there is no envy, hatred, greed, rage, or addiction. No personality disorders cloud our being. Only eternal love exists in that sacred realm, often called “the flipside.” It is from this place of pure love that we incarnate into physical forms across various realms and galaxies. Each incarnation offers our soul the chance to experience, to make mistakes, to learn.

Every major religion includes a repentance process — a path for individuals to recover their self-respect. This process involves acknowledging one’s actions, feeling genuine remorse, performing acts of restitution toward those harmed, and demonstrating a sincere commitment to renounce the wrongdoing.

Similarly, self-help methods offer frameworks for overcoming harmful behaviors by identifying the sources of unhappiness, taking steps to make amends, and committing to positive change. Both approaches emphasize the importance of accountability and transformation.

However, repentance and recovery require more than just words. Saying “sorry” is not enough; true repentance demands sincere actions that show a genuine effort to make things right. For this to occur, those who have been harmed must refrain from shaming the repentant individual. Instead, forgiveness creates a space for healing and growth.

Even then, there is a significant difference between feeling guilt or worthlessness and being made to feel worthless. While the former often originates from internal struggles, the latter is the result of external pressures and manipulations, making it an imposed emotional state rather than an inherent truth.

The first — feeling guilt or worthlessness — can arise from personal choices, such as neglecting self-care, overlooking personal hygiene, or associating with individuals who may not have our best interests at heart. These actions can contribute to an internal sense of inadequacy.

The latter, however, stems from external manipulation. It may involve someone trying to exert control or gain a sense of power by making you feel small or uneasy. Perhaps you didn’t meet their expectations, or maybe they were unable to love or forgive you due to their own mental health struggles or personality issues. Projection often plays a significant role in these dynamics, as individuals project their unresolved conflicts onto others.

Actual worthlessness — the belief that there’s no point to your existence — is nothing more than bad programming. It’s a false narrative that resides in your mind. If you’re feeling worthless because of something that’s related to other people, it’s often, though not always, deliberately caused.

Addressing these feelings requires critical thinking, self-reflection, and empathy. Good qualities, such as the ability to see the situation from another person’s perspective and to show compassion, can be transformative. It’s healthy to recognize one’s own faults, mistakes, errors in judgment, or moments when the ego has taken control.

Even then, what you’re experiencing should not be worthlessness — it’s an opportunity to learn, to show humility, and to reflect on your actions. Remember, no other human has the right to make you feel worthless for making a mistake, for not conforming, or for refusing to follow the masses. You are not a sheep, and they are not your shepherd.

Throughout history, people have sacrificed their lives in wars to secure freedoms — the freedom of speech, the freedom to be independent, and the freedom to be an individual. Isn’t this the essence of democracy? Why would shame arise in this?

Consider the unimaginable suffering of those who were owned, enslaved, incarcerated, tortured, and killed. Reflect on the horrors of the Holocaust, where individuals were shamed for their culture, religious beliefs. For those young boys being drafted by their country, shamed with the threat of execution if they showed fear, or disobeyed. These atrocities remind us of the importance of standing against oppression and valuing the dignity of every human being.

We’ve all experienced pain. We’ve all walked the difficult path of disappointment and defeat. These feelings — whether physical, social, or emotional — can hurt deeply. Life can be tough, unfair, and overwhelming. But this too shall pass. Everything in life is temporary, like a sandcastle on the beach. Build it however you wish, but eventually, the waves will come and wash it away.

For some, accepting this impermanence is a struggle. They want to change the world, to leave a lasting legacy, to make a difference that will be recognized by all.
Figures like Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. are shining examples of such change-makers. They transcended ordinary human existence, their purpose rooted in something far greater. These souls, perhaps sent from higher realms, served humanity as angelic beings whose mission was to elevate our perspective for the greater good. Through their actions, they revealed spiritual truths that connect and unite us all.

For most of us, our time here is marked by quiet lives. We incarnate, we live, and we leave, often without leaving any grand mark on history. But does that make us worthless? Absolutely not. The beggar on the street holds just as much value in our creator’s eyes as the king on the throne.
Not all of us are destined to be rich, famous, or remarkably talented. Most of us won’t go down in history for changing the world. Instead, we do jobs no one has heard of, for modest sums, leading humble lives. And that’s okay. Live your life, make the best decisions you can with the tools you have, and keep moving forward. If you take a wrong turn, course-correct and move on.
Be kind and helpful where you can. Don’t hate your neighbors or envy their lives. However small your existence may seem, it makes a difference — somewhere, somehow.

If you still feel worthless, make sure it isn’t physical. You could have the best reasons in the world to be happy and, if the brain chemistry isn’t right, you’re still going to feel horrible. Depression is a killer.

Thank you for reading my essay — please leave a like and follow me for more information on cluster B disorders, climate change, the other side, and reincarnation.